Will Soapy Die Of Spunktaneous Combustion?

That was the nagging question at the pub last night, will Soapy suffer at his “own hands” and die of Spunktaneous Combustion?

What is Spunktaneous Combustion?

Spunktaneous Combustion is similar to spontaneous combustion - an alleged phenomenon in which a human being suddenly bursts into flames - except for one factor.

The biggest difference is the fact that Soapy will always be aboard his wanking chariot, dick in hand wearing a furry glove, thoughts of diddy’s and pishflaps belonging to a certain barmaid fire his brain and hand into overdrive and he will ignite himself into flames with his rapid and severe hand movements as he violates and destroys that poor barmaid in his sick mind.

And what of that poor barmaid? Does that poor woman go to bed at night with her body burning in a similar way to when you have hot ears and people use the saying “someone is talking about me” - does she toss and turn with a burning sensation on her knockers? Does she suffer a scorching heat around her snatch? She probably does with the way Soapy in his sordid mind is bangong her in every hole his pan handle can fill.

It will all end one day with Spunktaneous Combustion. He will choke his chicken once too often at the thought of pumping that young thing senseless - in fact if he actually did ride her he would split her in two - his fate is near, his wanking chariot will fuel the fire and Soapy will have died with his boxers at his ankles, furry glove ablaze, cock on fire!!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps Soapy’s love sausage will end up like this one when the day finally “comes”……