St. Patrick’s Day!

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?
“Who told you that?” asked Paddy.

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced,
“Not guilty.”
“That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”

Irish lass : “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?”
Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”

Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.

Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning.
I can’t break her of it. .
Keenan: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin’ for me to come home.

Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. “Quick!” He said. “Send an ambulance, my wife is goin’ to have a baby!”
“Tell me, is this her first baby?” the intern asked.
“No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’.”

“O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?”
“It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”