Smart Arsed Women Bug Me

This was written by a smart arsed woman, a woman with attitude, a big chip on her shoulder, a bra-burner, a man-hater whose head is stuck to far up her own arse. In fact I go as far as to say she was a sad, lonely, ugly, overweight bitch.

All that aside I’ve never used any of the following chat up lines, as funny as some of them are, they are corny. It’s the answers that made me think about the woman who compiled this little lot.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U together
Response: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put F and U together

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Response: did it hurt when they kicked your balls out of hell???

Where have you been all my life?
Response: Hiding from you….how the hell did you find me?

I would die for you…
Response: Prove it!

I’m all you’ve got, good lookin’
Response: then I must be struggling

Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Response: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore

So what do you do for a living?
Response: Female impersonator

Is this seat empty?
Response: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down

So, wanna go back to my place?
Response: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?

I’d like to call you. What’s your number?
Response: It’s in the phone book

But I don’t know your name.
Response: That’s in the phone book too

What’s your sign?
Response: No Parking!

I know how to please a woman
Response: Then please leave me alone

Haven’t we met before?
Response: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic

I want to give myself to you
Response: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts

I can tell that you want me
Response: Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you… to leave

Hey, baby, What’s your sign?
Response: Stop

Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Response: Sorry, I don’t date outside my species

May I see you pretty soon?
Response: Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?

Your body is like a temple.
Response: Sorry, there are no services today.

I’d go through anything for you
Response: Good! Let’s start with your bank account

I would go to the end of the world for you
Response: Yes, but would you stay there?

Your place or mine?
Response: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.

After hearing a chat up line:
I like your approach, now let’s see your departure.

Does beauty run in your family?
Response: It obviously doesn’t in yours!

What’s your name sexy?
Response: Taken!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
Response: Yeah, but this time don’t stop!

I think you’re the best looking girl in here
Response: Really? Well, I’d better go find the best looking guy then, hadn’t I!

Can I buy you a drink?
Response: No, just give me the money.

You look like a dream.
Response: Go back to sleep

What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Response: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included
Response: Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to arsehole