My Inbox Today - Part 1

There’s a Scotsman driving through Europe and an Englishman driving in the opposite direction. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.

The Scotsman manages to climb out of his car and survey the damages. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Jesus, I am really lucky to be alive!”

Likewise, the Englishman scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Englishman walks over to the Scotsman and says, “You know, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of such rivals.”

The Scotsman thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m gonna see what else survived the wreck.”

So, the Scotsman pops open his boot and finds a full-unopened bottle of Whiskey. He says to the English fella, I think this is another sign from God that we toast to our new found understanding and friendship.”

The Englishman says, “You’re damn right!” and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down the Whiskey.

After putting away nearly half the bottle, the Englishman hands it back to the Scotsman and says, “Your turn!”
The Scotsman twists the cap back on the bottle and says,”Nahh, I think I’ll wait for the police to show up.”

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As a Newcastle trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
Hi,my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says,
“Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Newcastle, and I’m driving a fucking Gritter!!!!!