Joke Time Again
May 3, 2007
These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and they all came home at about the same time.
The first one said, “You know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up.”
The second one said, “No, you know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared.”
The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck.
“Now THAT’S a good date!”
Dave stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start his back swing.
Finally his exasperated partner asked, “What is taking so long?”
“My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,” Dave explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”
“Good lord,” his companion exclaimed. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”
Two more!!
A man walked into the emergency room with a 9 iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor on duty says “Good Lord man! How did THAT happen?”
The man says “Well, my wife and I were out golfing when she sliced one into a cow pasture on the 7th hole. Being a considerate husband, I went to help her look for her ball. I’m stepping carefully around cow patties when I notice something white sticking out of a cows behind. I move closer
and sure enough, it’s a golf ball. That’s when I made my mistake.”
The doctor says “What was that?”
The man replied “I lifted up the cow’s tail and said ‘Honey, this one looks like yours!”
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded the blonde “stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”.
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said “Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!” He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres.
Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
“What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the circle!”
