Anyone Fancy A Quickie?

Easy tiger, a quick joke is what I had in mind, nothing else

OK, OK, enough of that, here’s the funnies.

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys
hand onto her pussy. “Put your finger in me…” she asks him. So he
does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. “Put two fingers in…”,
she says. So in goes another one. She’s really starting to get worked
up when she says, “Put your whole hand in!”. The guy’s like, “Ok!”.
So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud “Put both
your hands inside of me!!!”. So the guy puts both of his hands in!
“Now clap your hands…” commands the girl. “I can’t”, says the guy.
The girl looks at him and says “See, I told you I had a tight pussy!”.

Q. What’s the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they
have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right
wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same
dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s
funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”

Q. What two words will clear out a men’s changing room quicker than anything else?
A. Nice dick!

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants
to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter
she can’t do it because he’s her half brother. The same problem happens
again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to
her mom and says, “Mom… What have you been doing all your life?
Dad’s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I
can’t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out
to be my half brothers!!!”
Her mom replies, “Don’t worry darling, you can marry any one of them
you want, he isn’t really your dad.”

The one about the police horse made me laugh most